


Can We Keep This

by son_of_a_bitch_spn_family



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Sam Has Issues, Sam just needs to be loved ok, fic commission, the bird and girl arent mine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 16:19:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16684972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/son_of_a_bitch_spn_family/pseuds/son_of_a_bitch_spn_family
Summary: “I've helped save the world. I've been in hell with the devil. I've been head to head with some of the worst monsters to ever exist. I shouldn't- there is literally no reason for this shit to scare me.”“Sometimes, the things you fear the most are the things you aren't able to fight,” Dakota murmurs gently, smiling at him sadly. “The things you have been through are too heavy, too terrible, for them not to change you. Personally, I think you're strong as hell for being as put together as you are.”





	Can We Keep This

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SheWolfWitch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheWolfWitch/gifts).



> A fic commission for the lovely SheWolfWitch! I don't own Dakota or Odin; those two were created by her!

Sam jerks awake at the sound of a large book landing loudly on the table. His heart races in his chest, eyes wide, panic gripping his spine. 

 

“Wakey, wakey,” Dean calls, already walking away from the table. “You fell asleep researching last night. Pretty sure you drooled all over your laptop.” 

 

Sam takes a deep breath, forcing himself to relax back in his chair. “Yeah, well I don't like how the last case ended. It came too close for Dakota. I'm looking for something I can do to protect her better.” 

 

“Oh,” Dean says, pausing in the doorway to the kitchen. He frowns at Sam, mutters, “I think she handled herself pretty well actually.” 

 

“Well, I  _ don't.  _ You may be fine with her nearly dying, but I'm not,” Sam snaps scathingly, glaring down at the laptop on the table. It needs to be charged. 

 

Dean's eyebrows snap up, lips tightening in anger, and he crosses his arms. “I don't know who you think you're talking to, Sam, but you're being a real bitch lately. You need to-” 

 

Dean's words are cut off by a loud squawk as Odin comes swooping out of the kitchen, dark wings flapping around Dean's head and smacking him in the face. Dean curses, hands flying up as he backs up hastily, trying to keep Odin from pecking at his head. Sam chokes on a laugh at the display, lips stretching into a smile. 

 

Odin circles the air and dips into the hallway heading towards Dakota's room, and Sam says, “You alright, Dean?” 

 

“Stupid  _ fucking  _ bird,” Dean growls, ruffling his hair in annoyance. “I'm gonna fry that thing for dinner.” 

 

“Pretty sure Dakota  _ and  _ Cas would kill you for that one,” Sam chuckles in amusement. 

 

Dean glares at Sam. “I dunno why Cas likes Odin so much. I swear they have staring contests and tilt their heads at each other like weirdos.” 

 

“Cas has wings, Odin has wings; maybe they're friends,” Sam suggests lightly. 

 

“Whatever,” Dean huffs, rolling his eyes and heading into the kitchen. 

 

There's the distinct sounds of Dean making breakfast, pans clanging, the fridge opening, the old oven cranking up. Sam looks back to the book he'd been reading the previous night. Runes, protective charms, and spells stare back up at him. 

 

The last hunt had gotten too close, at least to Sam. While Dakota swears she was fine, and Dean disagrees with his worry, Sam can't help but stress about the potential loss of Dakota. She's too good, too special, to lose. 

 

Worry settles within him, pushing him from his seat and down the hallway. He's heading down the hallway to check in on Dakota before he can stop himself, the need to make sure she is okay forcing him to go. Her door is open - as it always is for Odin - and she's a mere lump under the covers. 

 

Odin flies from his perch, landing on Sam's shoulder and nipping his ear affectionately. Sam reaches up with a faint smile, brushing a finger over Odin's head. One beady, black eye peers at him for a moment, seeming to peer in his soul, and then Odin takes flight, dipping out of the room. 

 

“Sam?” 

 

Sam glances up, blinking at Dakota. She sits straight up in the bed, hair askew, eyes wide, lips tipped down in a frown. She looks unsettled, fingers clenching the cover she's under. 

 

Sam walks over and sits on the bed, watching her carefully. “Dakota, you okay?” 

 

“I… I had a dream,” Dakota murmurs. 

 

“Wanna talk about it?” Sam offers gently. 

 

Dakota frowns at him. “It was about you.” 

 

“Well, that should be a good thing, right?” Sam asks nervously, cracking a smile. 

 

“No, it was… bad. Odin was flying, I was following him, and he led me into this room. It was dark, and you were…” Dakota trails off, swallowing thickly. 

 

“I was… what?” Sam presses, leaning forward. 

 

Dakota's eyes shine with unshed tears, heartbreak clear on her face. She reaches out, her palm cradling his cheek. She stares at him like he's something to be cared for, like she has seen him disintegrate before her very eyes. 

 

“You were crying, Sam. Weeping. I don't know why, but I've never seen anything like it. It was- Sam, it was heart-wrenching,” Dakota admits, fresh tears sliding down her cheeks. 

 

Sam reaches out, gathering her in his arms and holding her close to his chest. “Hey, shhh, it was just a dream. It wasn't real.” 

 

Dakota takes a deep breath, pushing back to meet his gaze. “But it  _ was,  _ Sam. The dream was guided by Odin. He wanted me to see it, wanted me to know. What's going on?” 

 

“Nothing. I mean, I haven't been crying,” Sam says, brow furrowing in confusion. 

 

“But there's something wrong, isn't there?” 

 

“No.” 

 

Dakota arches an eyebrow. “Sam.” 

 

“Dakota,” Sam replies flatly. 

 

“Look, if you're not ready to tell me, then fine. But I think you should talk to Dean, at least.” 

 

“There's nothing to tell, I promise.” 

 

Dakota heaves a deep breath. “I'd really appreciate it if you were honest with me. If you don't wish to talk about it, just say so, but don't lie to me.” 

 

“You're right, I'm sorry,” Sam admits sheepishly, averting his eyes. “I seriously haven't been crying when no one was looking, okay?” 

 

“Well… just talk to me,” Dakota suggests, leaning back against the headboard. 

 

Sam nods, swallowing. “I just… I'm worried-  _ terrified,  _ actually. This last hunt really messed with my mind, I guess. You were hurt, but it shouldn't have even been that big of a deal. It was small, Cas healed you, but… all I could picture was the next time that it could happen and maybe we wouldn't be so lucky.” 

 

“Okay, first of all, you know I can handle myself,” Dakota tells him seriously, quirking a smile. “Remember how we met? I kicked yours  _ and  _ Dean's asses, if I recall.” 

 

Sam chuckles softly. “We remember it differently, but okay. Though, you are strong, and I  _ know  _ that, but I just can't shake the feeling that…” 

 

“Sam, come on, you can tell me anything.” 

 

“I have this daunting feeling like I'm gonna lose you, okay? Just like I lose every person I love. Me and Dean? We don't…  _ get  _ this, ya know? And I feel like I need to do more, protect you better, stop being so fucking  _ scared  _ all the time.” 

 

“Oh, Sam,” Dakota breathes, her eyes soft, lips trembling. “You can't do this to yourself. You  _ have  _ to stop, do you understand?” 

 

“It's not easy,” Sam mumbles, staring at her earnestly. He swallows, croaks out, “I'm not like Dean; I can't just  _ ignore  _ shit. I'm panicking all the time, and I don't know how to stop it.” 

 

Dakota takes a deep breath and frowns at him. She sits up and scoots closer, taking his hands. “Okay, so tell me what you're scared of. And I don't just mean about me. Tell me all of it.” 

 

Sam blows out a deep breath, eyes widening as he searches the air above her head. “God, where do I even start? I mean, I'm scared of everything. Stupid shit, ya know? Loud noises, yelling, stuff like that. When Dean flies off the handle - or  _ anyone  _ really - I have this moment where I'm just… frozen.” 

 

“Sam, it's  _ not  _ stupid. You and Dean have been through a lot, way too much for any human to handle, but you both keep going  _ anyway.  _ It's miraculous, but that doesn't mean you two don't have your trauma from it.” 

 

“I've helped save the world. I've been in hell with the  _ devil.  _ I've been head to head with some of the worst monsters to ever exist. I shouldn't- there is literally no reason for  _ this shit  _ to scare me.” 

 

“Sometimes, the things you fear the most are the things you aren't able to fight,” Dakota murmurs gently, smiling at him sadly. “The things you have been through are too heavy, too  _ terrible,  _ for them not to change you. Personally, I think you're strong as hell for being as put together as you are.” 

 

“But Dean-” 

 

“Dean is not you, and believe it or not, he has his own issues as well. He isn't going to show them, especially not to you. You're his little brother, and he still feels like he has to be strong for you. What he doesn't know is that, sometimes… strength lies within vulnerability.” 

 

“Why are you so reasonable?” Sam mutters, shaking his head at her. 

 

“I'm just a realist,” Dakota replies, her voice sounding somber. “Speaking of realism… Sam, I want you to know that no matter what happens to me, you and Dean are the best parts of my life. I know - hell,  _ everyone  _ knows - that there are risks involved with associating with you and Dean. And that isn't your fault! It's no one's fault. What I'm trying to say is… well, if something  _ does  _ happen to me, I don't want you or Dean to blame yourselves. I walked right into this with wide eyes, knowing  _ exactly  _ what I was getting into. And truth be told, the payoff is worth it.” 

 

Sam's chest feels as if it's being scraped raw. He has told his breath so he won't cry, and he manages to choke out, “It's not  _ fair. _ ” 

 

“No,” Dakota agrees, “it's not, but I don't regret one second of our journey, and I look forward to every moment of our future, regardless of how much of it I'm going to have. We don't know what will happen, but it's not fair to distance yourself and beat yourself up just because of what  _ could  _ happen.” 

 

“I'm so scared,” Sam gasps out, crawling forward and tucking his head into her lap. 

 

Dakota brushes a hand through his hair soothingly, sighing softly. “That's okay, Sam; you're allowed to be. But don't, for  _ one second, _ think that makes you weak. We may not be able to control our fear, but that doesn't matter as long as we don't let it control us.” 

 

Sam's breath shudders out of him, and he lets all the tension deep from his body. He stays still, drawing comfort from Dakota. As the time ticks by, Sam realizes that she's right, much as it hurts. Carefully, he sits up and looks into her eyes. 

 

“Thank you,” Sam whispers. 

 

Dakota leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to his lips. Sam sinks into it, humming at the contact. When she pulls back, her smile is radiant. Sam returns the smile and gets up from the bed. 

 

“Where are you going?” Dakota asks. 

 

Sam wrinkles his nose as he backs up towards the door. “I was strung tight a little bit ago, so I have a brother I should go apologize to.” 

 

“Mmm,” Dakota hums, nodding knowingly. “You do that, then bring me breakfast in bed.” 

 

Sam smirks and winks at her. “Yes, ma'am.” 

 

Sam makes his way to the kitchen, feeling lighter than before, and he goes to enter when something stops him right in his tracks. He backs up and listens carefully, eyes wide. 

 

“... and it's not like I can tell  _ them  _ that, ya know? Jesus, listen to me, talking to a fucking bird.” 

 

Sam's mouth drops open in shock. 

 

Dean continues with a huff. “Ya know, you're not that bad, Odin. I mean, don't tell anyone, obviously, but you're an alright listener, I guess.” 

 

Odin squawks and it somehow sounds amused. 

 

“Whatever,” Dean grumbles. “Here, want some more bacon? Hey! Watch the fingers, asshole.” 

 

Sam stifles a laugh and fixes his face into something presentable as he enters the kitchen. “Who are you talking to?” 

 

Dean whirls around, brandishing a spatula like a sword. For a moment, his face is set into  _ fight mode,  _ and Sam blinks in surprise. Perhaps Dean really  _ does  _ have his issues. 

 

“What?” Dean blurts, taking a measured step away from Odin. “Shut up. Nothing.” 

 

Sam arches an eyebrow. “Uh huh.” 

 

“Whatever,” Dean growls. “Something you need?” 

 

“Yeah,” Sam chuckles, relaxing fully as he watches his brother pointedly avoid Odin as he hops closer to the bacon, “breakfast for Dakota.” 

 

“Man, we spoil her,” Dean sighs, already fixing her a plate as he complains. 

 

Sam quirks a smile and thinks about how much she's helped them, and he feels nothing but love when he says, “She deserves it.”


End file.
